Apply

What is this strange ‘BUCS PLAY’ app I’m being asked to apply through? My tablet won’t be good enough for this thing and it will crash and burn at the first hurdle. I bet I can’t even download it… ‘This app is not optimised for your device,’ is what it usually says.

No… It’s there. And it says it should be alright.
It downloads… After about twenty minutes.
I load it up.
Right. What do I do now? How the flibbertigibbet do I navigate this thing?

Christ. If I thought reaching the score for nationals was bad, try navigating this app! That should be qualification enough by itself. Forget scores, if you can work your way through the maze of ‘BUCS PLAY’ and actually apply, that should be enough.

I prod about a bit and eventually come to a list of sports.

Near the top.
Archery…
Molto Bene!

Right… Is there a ‘THIS IS THE ONLY COMPETITION OF THE YEAR!’ button. Why do BUCS only have the nationals for archery? Why don’t they have an inter-university league, like they do with rugby and football and squash? I can’t see it, so I prod at events, like a pensioner who doesn’t know what technology is.
‘There are no events forthcoming.’

Alright… Err…

Does their website help? Is there a desktop app for this thing? No… No…
What’s this… Community?
Ahhh… It hasn’t registered me on the archery community. Why not?

Back through the maze… I find the apply button.

Through to the club… Through to the long application form. URL for the score… This is going to take a while…

Check eligibility and…

Black.
Blank.
Blankety Black.
Black.
Blank.
Blankety Black!

Leave it an hour.

Try again.

Serious, why isn’t there a desktop app for this thing? This is discrimination against people who don’t have smartphones or decent tablets. Then again, looking at the reviews for this thing… Yikes.
‘Tis bad,’ sayeth the wise old owl.

The maze, all those details… Check eligibility.
Expecting it to go black and…
YOU MAY APPLY.

It’s not going to let me…
It does.
“You have successfully applied.”

Hoooooo boy.

Looks like we’re going to the nationals!